Cu@n~M3! M3!’s BlOg

Too bad to say that, I am very bad luck last week. It is very surprising for me, and also for all of my family and friends. I just met an accident last week. This is the second time I met accident, but the situation is quite same with last time, fall down from motorbike just because of avoiding others. It is considered very lucky already because there was no any car clashed into me from the back. Or else, really cannot imagine what will happen to me, and I can’t even meet my parents, my dear and all of my friends for the last time…haih…

Feel so sorry because I let my family worry about me. During the first accident, they still can stay beside me and take care of me, but this time is different, I am away from them far far away, and I can’t even see them at all…is too bad…However, I’m very delighted to get the concern sms from all of my friends, and some of them also help me a lot when I was really need them…they are so sweet*^^* and of cause, thanks my dear for always by my side when I need you, I really feel sweet… 

Thanks to all of you for always concern about me.. love you all always…*^^* don’t worry ya, I will be careful next time…

Quite a long time i didn’t update my blog already, my mind suddenly blank and don’t know what to write here even though there are lot of things happen to me recently.

There is more than one month since I started my industy training. This is a very good experience and I really enjoy there because I have a nice supervisor, nice colleagues and good working environment. There is nothing much to do there, everyday I almost fall asleep in the office, haha…but is good also, no pressure and stress… I know, I can’t wait for others to give me job, I have to go to find out what should I do then…Although my supervisor didn’t give me much work to do, but he does teach me lot of stuff about HR management which I really don’t know.

By the way, I really miss all of my friends, didn’t meet them since we started our training. Miss the time we hanging out together, joking together, sampat together, studying together and so on… hey friends, remember come and find me when you all come back ok? and of course sure i will find u all when i go kl de.. hehe… keep in touch ya…

And of course, I miss him a lot… although I have fun with all my colleagues, busy for whole day, chit chat with friends, and so on, my mind still can’t stop thinking of him… Wishing to see him everyday just like last time, but I know that is impossible for now. Everytime when i see him, I really really happy with that, but same thing, everytime when i see him going to leave, I really really feel bad… I don’t dare to cry in front of him, because I don’t want him to feel sad also…and I want to be strong enough to stand with it also… 3 months actually is not that long duration, but can’t meet him for 3 months, is too bad for me… Hong, miss you always…*^^*

刚刚从魔力回来，觉得很累，虽然只是坐在那儿唱歌，没有太大的动作，可是还是觉得很累，可能用气过头吧，哈哈~~！！今晚并没有什么特别的事件发生，可是有几个客人好像要挑战我们，上个星期点了几首有挑战性的歌给ah chen，结果今天又轮到我，他点了顺子的 《回家》，哇！从来都没有练过这首歌，再加上非常的难唱，没有十足的把握，我都不敢唱。

一直以来，我都以为我已经做了最后的决定，可是不知道为什么，我突然又改变主意了，是因为……我也不是很清楚，可能吧……我只知道，我的心门，终于打开了。

在多两个礼拜就是Final了，我应该收拾好心情专心读书，这才是我现在应该要做的。*^^*

Anti-Smoking Concert is actually Talentime that we’re be familiar with. Why they didn’t use the Talentime but using the Anti-Smoking Concert? I also not very sure. But according to Ann, it is becoz the name "Talentime" is being banned, so they have to change it.

In that concert, I felt bit disappointed of myself because i really sang so badly. I didn’t try my best and can’t concentrate at all. Some more, I’m the first contestant during that night, felt much more nervous than others. And this time is my first time to perform english song as well, really unexpected that I can sing so badly…haha~~!! However, the result was so unbelievable, I can’t believe that she can get the first prize. Actually for me, I think another malay guy can sang really better than her, he can sing well and full of feeling, I like the way he sing. But music is such a subjective matter, different people may have different favour.

I quite enjoy with the show, especially the dancing categories. All of them can really dance well, especially the break dance, I can’t believe that girl can do such an action. haha~~!!amazing..right? haha… unfortunately they just get the second prize…haizz~~!! There is another break dance performance in that show, they were the winner of last Talentime, they really have a great body.. haha.. I felt like there is no bone in their body.. haha…every dangerous action was seen like easy job for them.. haha..

On the other hand, I’m quite happy because of the support from all my friends. I think they should be more disappointed than me because I can’t get any place there. They also kept on consoling me at that night. Hey friends, I really OK with that.. hehe..and thanks you all. Maybe I don’t have such high hope on that so I’m fine when the result was release. Anyway.. again.. Thanks Very Much….*^^*   

Again…the feeling pop out in my mind…

The song, "La la la Love song" from japanese series "long vacation", suddenly make me recall everything pass behind me… I look at my back, and look at my front, and I know that, till now, I still can’t find the way back… the way for me to have courage and confident…

I scare…I afraid…of trying… I scare of being hurt and hurt others… This is not the one i want.. but can I keep on like this? I know i can’t… this is not me… i should’t like that…Eve told me..everything should have faith… there is a hope and we must always trust in it… and dun give up so easily… Can I trust it again? I really don’t know…why my journey is so hard…?

Time can prove everything…this is what i always believe in…

- 我总是相信，不管再大的雨，雨后一定会天晴，呈现出缤纷色彩的彩虹。-

Today is a big day for me? Maybe it is. Normally having a 21st birthday is quite important for everyone. However, i am having a great 21st birthday today even though i just stay alone at home. I still remember that, i used to spend my birthday with my friends, it’s not because i didn’t want to celebrate with my family, it was because i seldom went back to my hometown.

But today, i feel great because finally i got a chance to spend my 21st birthday with my family. Although they didn’t purposely celebrate with me, i can feel the warm of them. On the other hand, i get a lot of wishes from my friends. I really feel great and surprise to get that. However, i feel quite disappointed because i cant get the wishes from my other friends, maybe they already forget about today, because today is also the ghost day, haha… quite "lucky" because my birthday is the same day with ghost day.. hahaha…

Today is my first time to go for ikan bakar at Cheng with my friends. It is quite nice to have fun with them and having such delicious food as my dinner. We had ordered fish, sotong, chicken and lala…hehe… And the food i like the most is fish, because i like to eat fish very much…hehe…Although the food is not as tasty as expected, but overall is quite ok. Some more the food is quite cheap, it just cost us RM 61.60.. haha.. and all of us are very very full.. hihi…

After having our dinner, we go shopping at Jaya Jusco. Maybe today is saturday night, there are crowded with many people but of course, not as many as the JJ day…haha…I didn’t buy anything, just window shopping which is the thing that i always do… haha…

However, there is something i worry about, again, my training stuff. Just now i heard from my friend, there is a possibility that our tutors will be our supervisors for our training. Because my tutor already mad with me, if she becomes my supervisor again, i really don’t know what will happen. I really don’t wish this kind of thing to happen, but it still happens. Maybe the way i express myself is wrong.. haih… now, what should i do?? i really don’t know.

There is a year i never update my blog already. Maybe im too busy, or too lazy?? haha…There are really a lot of things happened on me within this year but now i can’t figure it out because i also forget about it already.

Just now accessed into my own blog and felt so surprise to get a reply from my friend, Stanley. Ya, Stanley, really long time didn’t talk with you already because we always take the different section of classes. Thanks for your reply, and I’m doing well recently. Nothing to busy of, just my studies only, and of course, my singing contest. Ya, i joined another singing competition in the Anti Smoking Contest. Just thinking want to have a try, but I get into final stage.

There is nothing much happen today, just an ordinary day for me. Yesterday i was very sad and no mood just because of my training stuff. I needed to get my student status comfirmation letter from my tutor but she keeped on delaying me. I did it exactly the same with my friends but my friends were approved but i was rejected. I was very upset and tried to find my tutor to ask her what is going on. But unfortunately, i failed to find her because she was not in for whole day yesterday. So, I had no mood to do everything just only worried about it. Luckily, i got few friends who can really cheer me up, support me and let me think positively. And finally, I get my letter and send out all of my application form today but my tutor is seemed like mad with me. But I don’t care about her already, since that is not my fault and I already get what I want. Hihi~~!!

Actually what is friendship? Till now, i still thinking what actually friendship is. What is friend? Is it a person who we can share our problem? our happiness? our sadness? our thinking? Or just find them when we are in trouble and ignore them when we are in happiness? I really confuse of that…

Have you ever betray by your close friend? yes, i do.. not once.. but many times. If you ask me, what is the feeling of being betrayed by your close friend, all i can tell you is, heart broken.. The feeling is like, your heart is stabbed by a knife, you have no tears to cry on, even though you hope so. At that time, i don’t want to have such feeling anymore, i don’t want be hurt by others anymore. All I want is just doing everything just because of myself. But now, i’m hurt again.

Sometimes i feel like a idiot, keep on trying to do many things for others, try to be patient with them, and try to think positively. But at the end, what i get, just disappointed. They always playing with me, kidding with me, teasing me, but, i got my limit. All of them are not children anymore, they should know what kind of word can be spoke out and what kind of word cannot be spoke out. Don’t you think that is hurt?

Why the time i need all of you the most, but you all cant be my side? I know, no point for me to sacrify so much for you all, but all i need to say is, all of you are my friends forever, i wouldn’t forget you all, till the rest of my life…

goodbye and take care… my dear friends…

Just back from discussion of my assignment, the feeling come out again… What feeling? lonely… During discussion with coursemates, i can react nothing, but when back to home, face with my pc….i will become abnormal again… maybe he is right, should be hanging around when free…and the mood also will be different, but where can i go?? there is no way i can go, i know i have to face it, i cant escape anymore…. even though this moment for me is very hard and suffer, everything will be passed… when its passing, it wont be hurt… Today, my mood is in black, just like left by the whole world, standing in dark alone, crying non-stop. Maybe yesterday i met him, tats y i feel lonely and sad…. maybe in the moment, i shouldnt meet him……